Tips for Being Positively Single

Expert Author Susan Leigh
For some people weekends, Bank holidays, long holiday periods like Summer and Christmas provide an opportunity to enjoy extra free time, time to spend with family and friends or to have a long-awaited break. For others these periods can be a time of isolation, loneliness, even misery.
Let's look at some ways to enjoy being positively single:
- Consider if you've perhaps conveyed to others a false impression of how busy and fulfilling your social life is? Some people, understandably, are reticent at giving the impression that they have little to occupy them in their free time. It may be that the people you know think you lead an amazing social life with lots of exciting friends and activities. The consequence of this is that it may deter them from inviting you along and may disadvantage you, excluding you from receiving invitations and making friends in these areas.
- If this is the case identify why this false impression has occurred. If you've mislead others, given them reason to believe you're busier than you really are, take time to address the reasons behind this and explore ways to remedy the situation. Perhaps hypnotherapy can help you improve your levels of personal confidence and self-esteem. If you feel that you or your life are unsatisfactory look at ways to improve them. Building relationships by trying to impress colleagues does not benefit you in being positively single.
- The truth is, other people are rarely that invested in the story of our lives; they have their own lives, issues and concerns to occupy them. If you decide to participate after previously saying you were unavailable you could be evasive and infer that your trip was cancelled or a friend was unwell. No one will mind. Then start being more enthusiastic and receptive about new opportunities to socialize. Even something that sounds unappealing may introduce you to potential new friends or activities you had not considered. Plus your relationship with your co-workers will then become more relaxed, friendly and genuine.
- Be aware of the importance of taking things steady when making friends at work, especially if you hold a senior position. It's often a good idea to remember your position and avoid engaging in gossip, being indiscrete, drinking too much; that way you can remain fair and professional throughout the working day. Having said that, organising and enjoying fun and interesting social events with work colleagues can add an extra dimension to the relationships, enhance them and create a valuable bond.
- Turn your free time into special time for yourself. Maybe catch up on a few chores, do some paperwork. But then reward yourself and commit to looking after yourself, being positively single and treating yourself well. Your colleagues with demanding partners, children, families no doubt envy your being able to lie in bed, read the papers, watch TV whenever you want. Remember that and relish your freedom. Have pamper times; dedicate an afternoon or evening to cooking your favourite food, reading a book, watching a special film, having a long relaxing bath. It's your time to enjoy being positively single.
- Look to establish fun and interests in a variety of areas. Some people enjoy going to the gym or attend exercise classes and make friends there. Other people use their free time to learn to paint or speak another language, or they do voluntary work or amateur dramatics. Having several areas of interest that occupy you means that you become so busy that you don't need to invent stories about how you spend your weekends and you ensure that you meet people with similar interests to yourself.